Spilled the syrup? Cracked your screen? Weepy, woozy, off your game?
We asked Pity Party author Kathleen Lane for tips on how to throw your own Pity Party! Just follow the steps below for a miserably good time—and don’t be too surprised if sadness leaves the party before you even cut the cake.
First step: Pick out your party theme
To find the theme that’s right for you, try taking my What Kind of Pity Partier Are You? quiz
Next up: Decorations!
Here are a few festive ideas to add extra pity to your party:
Pity Party Banner
Whatever word captures how you’re feeling, write it out and hang it proudly!
Falloons (fake balloons)!
No balloons at home? No problem! Just channel all of your angst and frustration into making these tedious little origami balloons!
Simply write down everything that is irritating you on a piece of paper then cut it up into little tiny insignificant pieces that can never break your heart again.
Step 3: Create your playlist
For inspiration, here are some of my favorite Pity Party tunes:
- Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson
- Help I’m Alive by Metric
- I’m Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage
- Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.
- Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol
- Hello Darkness My Old Friend by Simon & Garfunkel
Step 4: Decide on your party activities
Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you have to be bored. Here are some fun activities for you to try:
Follow these simple piñata instructions, replacing the happy face with an expression that better suits your mood, and replacing candy with your favorite pitiful fillings, such as individual tissue packs, erasers, finger traps, and baby carrots.
Ladders & Ladders
Take the classic game and replace every chute with a ladder and you can never be a loser again!
Hide & Hide
See how long you can stay hidden behind the living room curtains; pass your time wondering if anyone will come looking for you.
Finally: Plan your menu!
Everyone knows that a party without snacks is no party at all. To add some flavor to your Pity Party, here are a few of my favorite recipes:
Add sprinkles and watch your cup of applesauce turn into a cup of fun!
Lemons into Lemonade
Squeeze and squeeze those lemons. Squeeze like you’re squeezing out every last drop of your inner despair. Add sugar, water, and enjoy!
Make a cake inspired by your party theme, or if you want to make the ultimate hard-times cake, try one of my favorite recipes: World War II Ration Cake
Have your own Pity Party ideas to share? I’d love to see them! Share your images and ideas on Twitter and Instagram with #throwapityparty