Throw Your Own Pity Party!

Kathleen Lane, Author of PITY PARTY

Spilled the syrup? Cracked your screen? Weepy, woozy, off your game?

We asked Pity Party author Kathleen Lane for tips on how to throw your own Pity Party! Just follow the steps below for a miserably good time—and don’t be too surprised if sadness leaves the party before you even cut the cake.

First step: Pick out your party theme

To find the theme that’s right for you, try taking my What Kind of Pity Partier Are You? quiz

Next up: Decorations!

Here are a few festive ideas to add extra pity to your party:

Pity Party Banner

Whatever word captures how you’re feeling, write it out and hang it proudly!

Falloons (fake balloons)!

No balloons at home? No problem! Just channel all of your angst and frustration into making these tedious little origami balloons!

Anger Confetti

Simply write down everything that is irritating you on a piece of paper then cut it up into little tiny insignificant pieces that can never break your heart again.

Step 3: Create your playlist

For inspiration, here are some of my favorite Pity Party tunes:

Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson
Help I’m Alive by Metric
I’m Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage
Everybody Hurts by R.E.M.
Dancing With Myself by Billy Idol
Hello Darkness My Old Friend by Simon & Garfunkel

Step 4: Decide on your party activities

Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you have to be bored. Here are some fun activities for you to try:

Nata piñata

Follow these simple piñata instructions, replacing the happy face with an expression that better suits your mood, and replacing candy with your favorite pitiful fillings, such as individual tissue packs, erasers, finger traps, and baby carrots.

Ladders & Ladders

Take the classic game and replace every chute with a ladder and you can never be a loser again!

Hide & Hide

See how long you can stay hidden behind the living room curtains; pass your time wondering if anyone will come looking for you.

Finally: Plan your menu!

Everyone knows that a party without snacks is no party at all. To add some flavor to your Pity Party, here are a few of my favorite recipes:

Fiesta applesauce

Add sprinkles and watch your cup of applesauce turn into a cup of fun!

Lemons into Lemonade

Squeeze and squeeze those lemons. Squeeze like you’re squeezing out every last drop of your inner despair. Add sugar, water, and enjoy!

Cake!

Make a cake inspired by your party theme, or if you want to make the ultimate hard-times cake, try one of my favorite recipes: World War II Ration Cake