What to do if you get Haunted by Dead Pets

Let’s say you happen to electrocute your pet chicken. Accidentally, of course! Then, in a shocking turn of events, that self-same chicken decides to appear in your bedroom covered in ectoplasm. In the event of one such haunting, please adhere to the following guidelines:


  1. Deny, deny, deny

Who’s haunted? Not you. Pay no attention to the ghost-like presence of your formerly alive pet chicken.


  1. Verify the haunting

Pinch yourself. Dead pet still there? Then, yes, you are in fact haunted.


  1. Consult the experts

Now might be a good time to pay a visit to a medium. Or maybe you have a friend who knows their way around a Ouija board.


  1. Consult the haunter

Can your pet suddenly talk to you? The afterlife may have opened new communication possibilities outside of your standard barking, meowing, or chirping.


  1. Attempt to appease

Now that communication is flowing smoothly, consider asking what your pet wants. A bone? Head scritches? Your aid avenging its untimely death by solving a murder?


  1. Read The Incredibly Dead Pets of Rex Dexter (and its sequel Narwhal I’m Around)

When in doubt, you can always turn to books for help. Rex Dexter and his dead pets may be just who you need.

Rex Dexter is cursed…  with brains… and daring… and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders.

After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he’s home free, spiritually speaking. But that’s when he finds a two-thousand-pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it.

Fishy business is at hand. And as if that’s not bad enough, Rex’s mom has a stressful new job. His new teacher may be part of a Russian hit squad. His best friend Darvish is distracted by a role-playing game. And, horror of horrors, Rex may accidentally have a girlfriend.

Rex Dexter is neck-deep in dead pet problems. And he’s determined to solve them. Or let his best friend Darvish die trying.


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